


Can't It Be Me?

by onamiswaaan



Series: Me [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Character(s), Slight Pre-Timeskip, Timeskip, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26313067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onamiswaaan/pseuds/onamiswaaan
Summary: Tendō Satori is inlove with Ushijima Wakatoshi, his best friend and team captain. For the third time, Wakatoshi is romantically interested in another person and Satori has no other choice than supporting his best bud. But Satori gets tired. He keeps on asking himself, "Why can't it be me?"
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916596
Comments: 14
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still new in this so expect this work to have mistakes. Please feel free to criticize my work.
> 
> I'll be adding tags as the story progresses.

During their third year in high school, Shiratorizawa Academy's boys volleyball team lost. Tendō Satori was upset, but since he is in front of his team, he can't show signs of frustration. He remained calm and collected, just like their ace and captain, Ushijima Wakatoshi, one of the top 3 aces in Japan.

During the awarding ceremony, Karasuno High's victory left a bitter feeling inside of Tendō. His face is straight and shows no emotions in it, that is why he was shocked when Ushijima tapped him in the back after the ceremony.

"Don't be upset. We did our best."

What his best bud said made him feel giddy inside, instead of just feeling happy. He can feel his stomach twirl, not because he's nauseous, but because, weird may it be, he can feel butterflies in it.

Tendō Satori is in love with Ushijima Wakatoshi, and of course, the latter may be a volleyball-stupid guy, he had fair shares of relationships, that is why no matter how much the former wants to hide his feelings, Ushijima can not stop himself from being aware of it.

He is also aware that Tendō has romantic feelings for him since they were middle school students. Ushijima knew Tendō ever since primary school days.

Their match against Karasuno made Satori realize that he and Wakatoshi will not be joining volleyball competition in the same team. They're now third years, and after few months, they will graduate from Shiratorizawa Academy and live separate lives.

_"Yet, I still can't confess my feelings for him. Miracle boy no more, I'm coward boy Sa-to-ri."_ He thought that made him laugh a bit.

On their bus, Satori sat beside Wakatoshi. Unlike usual days, Satori isn't talking. He's just there, sitting. Their coach is still not in their bus, probably still busy inside the gymnasium. He suddenly craved for hot chocolate and remembered that the vending machine inside the gymnasium has hot chocolate. He stood up and is ready to go out of the bus when Wakatoshi asked where he is going. He told him what he's going to do, and Ushijima told him to hurry up or he'll be left behind.

He got back within just 5 minutes, and saw Semi Eita, there team's pinch server and setter aside from Shirabu Kenjirō, drinking cola. Satori entered the bus first and Semi followed after. On the isle, Semi tripped and his drink was spilt on Satori's jersey jacket.

"What the fuck, Semi!" He said as he turned to Semi, and the latter apologized and quickly wiped his jacket. But it had no effect for his cloth.

"Just forget it, you fucking clumsy kid! That's why Shirabu is ignoring you despite of you confessing your love to him!" Because of Satori's remark, the team laughed and the sadness in the atmosphere lessen.

Instead of being mad, Semi showed a smug smile. "Oh, he's ignoring me? Probably just because he's shy. You know, can't accept the fact that he likes me, too." And within few seconds, a half of a pair of volleyball shoes came flying from the direction of Shirabu, who's now blushing hard, to Semi's face. It hit Eita's forehead that made the team laugh again.

After that commotion, Satori removed his jacket and proceed to his seat. He felt the coldness of the vehicle's air conditioner.

"You didn't bring an extra sweater? Or jacket?" Ushijima asked Satori, and the latter just shooked his head. Tired, Satori fixed himself on the seat to feel comfortable and get some sleep at least until they arrive at the school, and closed his eyes. He felt Wakatoshi's movement beside him, like he's looking for something on his bag. "Wear this." The captain's voice made him open his eyes and saw Ushijima offering his hoodie to Satori.

He's shocked, he never thought that Wakatoshi will lend him his favorite hoodie that he always bring in any competitions they're in. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Now, wear it."

Satori offered his thanks to Wakatoshi and wore it. Satori then closed his eyes again and drifted to sleep. But before he completely fell asleep, he felt the man pull him close and kissed him in the top of his head. That made him smile and completely fell asleep.

* * *

Few weeks passed since their match with Karasuno. The Spring Interhigh is just few days away. Ever since the training for rookies held in Shiratorizawa Academy and hosted by their volleyball coach, Washijō Tanji, Ushijima has always been focused on his phone. Satori is happy, thought that his friend has something that makes him entertained. _"Must be a good game, then, if Wakatoshi's this happy,"_ Satori thought.

They're on practice break, that's why Satori wanted to know what game he is playing. He was about to ask Wakatoshi when Semi asked him a question that piqued his interest.

"Hey, Tendō! Have you seen the newly released volume of _One Piece_? I'm not a fan, but my cousin told me it's really good! Should I watch it? Or should I read it?" Satori is not the only one who's reading shōnen jump mangas in their team, of course. But he is the one who's addicted to them.

"That's from two months ago. The 68th volume was published on November 2. I bought my own copy three days after that."

"That's still new, though! Just two months, and you already read it? Talk about a shōnen addict."

"That's from two months ago. What, you're waiting for ten years before buying a copy? Talk about lame." Satori laughed at his teammate. "But, yes! You should watch and read _One Piece_! It's really good. Do you still remember Karasuno's number 10? Man, he likes this work of art! You should probably watch it. It's worth your time."

And the two talked about shōnen jump series until their break was over. Their trainings in their volleyball gym was hellish, as always. Even though they won't be competing for other competitions since they lost. Apparently, asking Ushijima's game slipped from Tendō's mind, and completely forgot about it.

During their daily practice, Wakatoshi looks happier and more motivated than ever. Tendō is happy to see the man he loves happy. Ushijima is smiling more than before. _"He's smiling like he was when he had a relationship."_ But Tendō brushed the thought away, because how would Ushijima enter a relationship when he's not even talking to anyone?

His thoughts were cut off when Yamagata Hayato asked him, "Hey, I've been wondering for quite a long time now. Is your hair color really red? Or did you just dyed it? Even your eyebrows are red. And your hair's even standing. Amazing."

That made Satori laugh hard. "Yes, my hair color's naturally red. You can even ask Wakatoshi! And my hair's standing because... Just because! You have no say on my hair, your hair's also spike-y."

"Wakatoshi, is it true? That he didn't dye his hair?" And the man just answered, "Yeah."

But Hayato is still not convinced. "Do you want to see?" The whole team laughed because of it and they're starting to tease poor Yamagata.

And now, Tendō is the one who's curious about something. "How about you, Wakatoshi-kun? Is your hair naturally dark-olive brown-colored?"

"Huh?" He stopped looking at his phone. "Of course. Didn't you know it already? We are friends for years now."

"Can you prove it to me? You know... Down there!" The words from Tendō made the whole team dumbfounded. "Just kidding!"

"What the hell, Tendō! I thought you were serious!"  
"As always, this guy's unpredictable."  
"He's the only one who can talk to Ushijima-san like that."

Are what he can hear from his teammates.

"Okay. Let's go to the comfort room, then. And you confirm it." And... the whole team fell on a silence again. Including Satori, who blushed to the point his face has the same color as his hair. "Just kidding." Ushijima said with a straight face.

_"I thought he's serious. I was caught off guard. Wakatoshi-kun knows how to joke now, huh? But his face is still emotionless."_ Satori thought.

After a few minutes, they're back to practice and suddenly, Tendō remembered that he wants to ask what game Wakatoshi is playing. That's why, after their practice, Tendō approached Ushijima and asked, "Hey, hey! Wakatoshi! May I ask what game you're playing? You always look entertained."

"Huh? What are you talking about, Tendō?"

"I'm asking what game you are playing! You know, you are not the type to be focused on your phone. If that game is keeping you entertained, then that must be a good one!"

"Ah, no. I'm not playing games."

"Eh? Then why are you always on your phone? It also made you smile a lot!"

"I'm always on my phone because I'm talking to someone through text. Shimizu Kiyoko. Karasuno's third year manager. I got her number from Hinata Shōyō."

Though he have an idea, Satori asked him, "Mailing her? Why?"

Wakatoshi's answer made him want to tear up.

"I want to date her."

The whole team is silent. They are aware of Satori's feelings for their captain. Semi, who is one of Satori's close friends, was about to approach him when the red-head smiled and cheerfully told Wakatoshi, "Good luck, then! Karasuno's manager is pretty and looks smart and nice."

"Yeah."

"I'll be going first, then! I'm kind of tired. I'll leave you guys to clean."

Satori went out of the gym and headed into their dormitory. He didn't even changed or get his things on their locker. When he reached his room, he locked the door and decided to take a shower.

While he's taking a shower, he's lost in a thought.

The day of their match against Karasuno, he caught a glimpse of Ushijima being dumbfounded for a few seconds. Before, during, and after the ceremony, Wakatoshi kept on looking at the lady's direction. He had a hunch. He had a hunch that Wakatoshi is attracted to Karasuno's manager.

But he never thought that Ushiwaka will be that attracted to her to the point he wants to date her. Since Satori is a supportive friend, all he can do is wish him good luck and cry silently by himself.

_"Damn, unrequited love hurts."_


	2. Chapter 2

Three weeks before their graduation, Satori had a free time and decided to go to Shichigahama, a town in Miyagi famous for its beach and other tourist spots, alone after lunch time. He's getting emotionally stressed by the fact that Wakatoshi intends to have a romantic relationship with Shimizu Kiyoko of Karasuno, that is why he traveled for around thirty to forty minutes in order to have a peace of mind. Students are busy these months because the academic year is ending. Graduating students are looking for university or high school where they're going to study the next year. When Satori arrived at his destination, he decided to go straight to Azukihama beach, and as he expected, there are less people around.

Satori is wearing a denim jacket, a white shirt for inside clothing, beige chinos, and a pair of white sneakers. His clothes are obviously does not match his destination. Who wears sneakers and go to the beach, anyway? He didn't even brought change of clothes. But he doesn't have to swim just because he went to the beach, right? He approached the sea shore and removed his shoes, and then fold his pants up to his shin. He walked to the beach, just enough for the waves to reach his feet. He's enjoying his walk for it is a perfect day and weather to. The sun is up, but it is not scorching hot. The sky is also not too clear, but not too cloudy, either. How long he'll walk is something he doesn't know. After fifteen minutes of walking-stopping, he got tired and decided to sit on the sea shore. He pulled his picnic blanket he packed from his bag and sat on it. After that, he tooked a photo and sent it to Semi Eita together with the message, "I'm on Shichigahima. It's so peaceful today. Be envious of me."

Semi was able to read it immediately and called him. "Don't tell me that you're in Azukahima," is what Semi said the moment Tendō answered the phone.

"I'm not telling you, then."

"Go home! You won't be able to get peace here today!"

"Huh, what do you mean here?"

"Just, go home. You'll get hurt."

"Wait, you're here? Who are you with? Shirabu? Ah, a date! You sneaky brat!"

"I'm not a brat and–" The man was cut off by a very familiar voice.

"Who is that, Semi?" It's Wakatoshi's voice. Tendō is shocked, he didn't know that the two are together, and they're in one place! _"So much for a peace of mind."_ Satori thought.

"Okay, Semi. I'm going home now." But he heard Wakatoshi again.

"Is that Tendō?" Satori told Semi to lie, and the latter just responded, "Don't bother. We spotted you already."

And shit just got real. He went all the way to Shichigahima to avoid the man and yet, here they are, in one place and he was seen by the person he's avoiding.

He saw four figure approaching him. He recognized them. The people approaching him are Semi Eita, Shirabu Kenjirō, Ushijima Wakatoshi, and...

_"And of course, she'll be here, too."_

Shimizu Kiyoko was one of the people approaching him.

It was awkward. Really, really, awkward. Satori went to a concrete path to wash sands off his feet and dried them off. After that, he wore his shoes again, and went back to where he left the others. They're still sitting on the blanket Satori prepared, and to lessen the awkwardness, Shirabu suggested to have a picnic since they brought snacks with them. They started talking, they're asking Kiyoko about Karasuno volleyball club and who the next captain is. Everything felt bitter to Tendō that he can almost taste bitterness in his mouth.

_"Great. I'm the fifth wheel, Satori."_

He just chose to look away and then heard a familiar voice. "Kuroo-san, I told you I don't want to. Let's just go back to Sendai."

"Come on, Tsukki! Call me Tetsurō, yeah? And the beach is fun!"

"Kuroo-san."

"Tsukki, come on! You know I'll be busy once university starts. Let's just enjoy this day. Please? And start calling me Tetsurō."

"I'll call you Tetsurō if we go back to Sendai now."

"Call me Tetsurō first. Please, Kei?"

And he saw Karasuno High's number 11 and the captain of Nekoma High, one of the schools Karasuno faced off during nationals. The others are immersed in their conversation that they still haven't noticed the guy. Since he was watching them, he saw how the blond blush after Nekoma's captain called him "Kei", and Satori found it interesting.

"I'll be going somewhere for a while. Just saw something interesting." And he walked his way to the two, and Semi was asking where he is going but he received no answer. They just followed him with their eyes and Shimizu's shock was evident. Of course, he just saw Tsukishima with Kuroo who should be in Tokyo.

"Heyo, normal guy! What are you doing here?" Tsukishima felt his blood boil because of annoyance. Without looking at the guy who called him, he recognized him with his voice.

"Eh? Tsukki, who is he?" Tetsurō asked because the man he is with suddenly looked pissed, and when he got to see the face of Satori, he figured out who he is. "Oh, you're Shiratorizawa's guess monster!"

"That's why I told you let's just go back to Sendai!" Tsukishima then turned to look at Satori. "If you'll excuse us. We'll be going first."

"Oy, oy, oy! Just wait! Join us on our picnic."

"Why would we? Kuroo-san and I don't know anyone from your team."

"We..." Tendō felt the bitterness rose up his systems again. "Shimizu Kiyoko is with us."

"Kiyoko-san? Why?"

"Let's just go! Don't worry, we're just five there, including your manager."

Before Tsukishima can say no, Kuroo agreed to Tendō's invitation, hoping that Ushijima Wakatoshi is with them. The black-haired guy wanted to meet the last one of the Japan's top three ace. And so, Tendō came back together with the couple he saw by chance. As they arrive, Tsukishima Kei's face turned into bright red as he feel Kiyoko's stare on them.

"Tsukishima-kun. Kuroo-san. What are you doing here? Do you have other companions with you?"

Kuroo was hesitant to answer the question. "Uh, no. We came here with just the two of us. We're um..." He doesn't know what answer to give to the lady, and Tsukishima continued his lover's sentence.

"We're on a date, Kiyoko-san. How about you?"

Ushijima answered instead, "We're on a date, and as we arrive here, we saw Semi and Shirabu. Then we all saw Tendō by chance, too."

"Yeah, a date." Tendō whispered and no one heard it, is what he thought. The words were loud and clear to Tsukishima's ear.

The blond looked at Satori to the point that the latter can feel hole burning in his face. He wasn't going to pay attention but he can't. "Normal guy, what's your problem?" And, the redhead can not take it anymore, but Kei just gave him a smirk.

"Kuroo-san, I want to eat ice cream. Let's go buy some from the convenience store."

"Eh? But that's too far, Tsukki!"

"You don't want to? Okay." He stood up and turned to Tendō, "Um... Was it Rindō-san?"

"It's Tendō!"

"Okay. Tendō-san, come buy ice cream with me."

Before he can say no, he just found himself being dragged by the Karasuno's number 11. And his lover eventually went with them.

When they were far enough not to be heard, Tsukishima stated a fact. "You love him."

"Huh?"

"Tendō-san, you love him. Ushiwaka."

"What?! No! Why would I?! And can't you see that he likes your manager?"

Oh, he got a little to defensive with that. "You love him."

"You really piss me off."

"Well, you don't have to hide it. I know. Since we faced each other off."

"Huh?"

"You look at him the way Kuroo-san look at me."

"M-me? How do I look at you, Tsukki?" The unusually silent Kuroo suddenly butted.

"He looks at me like... Why would I tell you? All I can say is that you look at him with loving eyes."

"Don't tell your manager."

"Of course. You owe me, Tendō-san." And again, Tsukishima projected his annoying smirk. "Does he know?"

Satori fell silent and spoke only after half a minute or so. "I don't know. I think he does, or not? I don't really know."

"What? Make up your mind!"

"I don't know if he knows, but the whole team knows and keep on saying I'm not good at hiding it."

"I can sense a but."

"Well... If he knows, then why is he still sending mixed signals only for me to find out he's dating another person?"

"Have you confessed to him?" Tendō shooked his head and that made the younger to laugh, and that laugh annoyed Tendō. Kuroo told him off by saying that's disrespectful but still can't stop himself from laughing. "I thought you're a miracle boy? You can't even confess to Ushiwaka."

Satori is really pissed. "Um, it's Kuroo-san, right?" Tetsurō looked at him. "Can I murder your boyfriend and throw him somewhere no one can see?" He let Tsukishima's amusement die before he spoke again. "I've tried. I tried to confess. Two times."

"What happened, then?"

"The first time was during middle school."

* * *

_During their second year in middle school, Satori started having feelings for his best friend. Or maybe he already have, but he was just able to notice it during that year. He wants Wakatoshi to know. But he can't see any couples of the same gender. He thought it might be weird. He thought Wakatoshi would be awkward once he found out about his feelings._

_He kept quiet about it. Until he had a hard time hiding his feelings. He decided that he'll be confessing on his fifteenth birthday, because it is sure that Ushijima will celebrate with him._

_He gets quite confident as time pass by. He thinks that his love is requited, because he can feel that Wakatoshi is in love with Satori, too. The former always took care of the latter, and treat him as the most important out of all their classmates._

_Then, his birthday came. Satori is nervous, who wouldn't be? He will confess later that day!_

_"Hey, Tendō. I have something to say to you later, after our training." He was shocked when he suddenly heard his beloved's voice, and got nervous. What is he going to say? He's scared, yet at the same time, he's excited. "And, happy birthday. Let's celebrate your birthday later."_

_His heart beat faster. "Wakatoshi-kun will be the death of me."_

_Because of Ushijima, Tendō wasn't able to focus on their training at all. And after their training, they went straight to the Tendō residence. When they arrive, there was a note on the refrigerator._

_"Satori,_

_Son, we're sorry, we are both not around during your birthday this year. We will make it up to you next year, alright? We hope you forgive us._

_I cooked your favorite foods, together with Ushijima-kun's. Just heat it up. Enjoy, son. We love you._

_Call us when you get home, alright? Take a shower after._

_Mom and Dad."_

_And the celebrant told his only visitor to take a shower first before he does, because he's calling his parents. During the call, Satori's parents just kept on apologizing, despite him telling that it's alright, because it really is, and do not overwork them self._

_After the redhead took a bath, he went to the dining room and saw that the food was already heated by Ushijima._

_While eating, they were talking about random things, most were just Tendō, until Ushijima opened up the thing he was talking about earlier, and Satori asked what it is about._

_"I met someone at the training camp."_

_"Huh?"_

_"I met someone at the training camp. Uh, that person is a guy."_

_"Oh, a guy. Oh, so does that mean he swings that way?" Satori thought._

_"I hope you're not weirded out by this, I'm sorry."_

_"Oh, no, it's alright. What is it?"_

_"I like him. His name is Sakusa Kiyoomi." He sighed like he released something heavy inside of him, but he didn't noticed that Satori felt something heavy was put on him, and is having a hard time breathing._

_"Oh, hello there, first heartbreak." Tendō feels like he's now insane that he's talking with himself through his mind._

_"And then?" Satori tried his best to look unaffected and happy for his best bud._

_"He said he likes me, too. But we don't know if this will work out. We're still young and we're far from each other. He lives in Tokyo."_

_"Then, enjoy it until you can. Maybe your relationship will work out, maybe not. Do not conclude so easily." That's what he said to cheer him up. "Congrats, Wakatoshi-kun. I'll be cheering you on."_

_And that night, he had three firsts. The first time he got his heart broken, he cried because of a broken heart, and he realized how shitty a heart break feels._

* * *

"Oh, so you assumed that he likes you?" Kei asked as Kuroo open the door of the convenience store for him. Satori's story about his first attempt to confess took a long time that they arrived at the convenience store without noticing it.

"Of course! I mean, he really treat me well. I'm special of all the other students and other teammates. I just... I just thought that maybe he likes me, too. He even gets jealous whenever I talk to other students."

"Did he get jealous as a friend or as someone who likes you?"

Satori fell silent as they start picking ice cream.

"Oops, bull's eye." He turned to his lover and asked him to look for a strawberry-flavored one. "And then, what happened to them?"

Tendō picked a chocolate-flavored ice cream together with other flavors that the others would like. "Let's pay for these first, and I'll tell you what's next. This is my treat."

"Oh, no need to. We have money."

"Your senpai is treating you, just shut up and say thank you." After they paid and got outside of the convenience store, he started talking again.

"My second attempt was during first year high school."

* * *

_Sakusa Kiyoomi and Ushijima Wakatoshi didn't work out, as expected by the latter. Their almost-relationship lasted only for 4 months. Their feelings faded and eventually called it off. During a competition, Ushijima's team faced off with Oikawa's team. Wakatoshi admired the setter's skills and wanted him to come to Shiratorizawa. That's why he gave his best to defeat the team and show Oikawa his power, but it had the opposite effect._

_During their first year high school, Tendō wants to give himself a shot and see whether they will click or not._

_But before he was able to confess, Ushijima liked someone else again. While persuading Oikawa to come to Shiratorizawa, they fell in love with each other. They entered a relationship, but didn't work out. He thought it was because of Wakatoshi's persuasion, but no. He stopped persuading the setter when they got into a relationship, that's why that wasn't the reason for their break-up. The reason isn't known by the others._

_Satori never thought of confessing again. Whenever he thinks there might be a chance, someone else steps into his life and ends up as the person Ushijima's life._

_"Two times is enough," is what Satori thought to himself._

* * *

And the next thing he knew after telling the story, they're nearing the group they left. The first one to notice them was Wakatoshi, who had this look on his face that tells he's happy to see Satori.

And that pained him.

_"Stop making me feel like there's a hope."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? I'm open for criticisms!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Semi Eita confessed. Tendō Satori is leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A kind of dramatic scene in this chapter, if you won't like it, then I'll try to make things better for the next chapter. A certain scene here will be the opening part for the next part of the series.

It has been two days since the graduation of third year high school students in Shiratorizawa, and today is the celebration and departure party for the third years of the volleyball team of the academy, that is why all members of the volleyball club is present in the said celebration. It is a Sunday, but they're the only people in the restaurant. Turns out, their coach, Washijō Tanji, rented the whole place.

"Ushijima-san, you're scouted by the Schweiden Adlers, right? That's amazing!" Goshiki commented while they were eating, which caught the attention of other members, and Wakatoshi just answered a simple, "Yeah." Unsatisfied of the answer, Goshiki asked, "Will you be joining them, then?" And the person asked just answered the same answer.

And so, the topic now is about Ushijima Wakatoshi and his future plans. Hayato, one of Tendō's close friends and a neighbor of their family, asked him, with catching little attention, about his career, which the former just found out from his parents, "Say, Tendō, I heard from my parents that you're studying in a culinary school in Paris. Is that true?" Hayato's question caught the attention of the volleyball club members near them, including Semi, who is looking shocked.

"Why, Hayato-kun? You're gonna miss me?" Satori teased the team's former libero to divert their attention. Satori's plan was not to let anyone know that he's studying abroad until he gets there, and now his plan was ruined, and a few seconds after, it became the talk.

"Woah, Tendō-san is studying in abroad."  
"Would you be staying alone in Paris, Tendō-san?"  
"What's the name of the school you're attending, Tendō-san?"  
"Do you know how to speak French?"

While the members are asking him, he secretly glared at Hayato, who didn't knew about his plan, and murdered him in his mind. Now, even Ushijima is looking at him, shock is evident in his expression. Satori answered no question and changed the topic, though that did nothing because Semi Eita and Ushijima Wakatoshi is still looking at him.

They started playing games and other recreational activities, prepared by first and second years, to spend their day in that restaurant. Satori studying in Paris, France has been long gone thanks to the activities. Almost all of them are participating, except for three people: Ushijima Wakatoshi, Semi Eita, and Shirabu Kenjirō. Ushijima not joining is not an unusual sight, but Semi and Shirabu not joining is. The more unusual sight is Semi and Shirabu, who everybody thought are couple, aren't talking, or more like, Shirabu is avoiding Semi.

Tendō went to the bathroom to pee, and when he went out, he saw Semi. "You're gonna use the bathroom? I'm heading back."

"Tendō, can we talk?"

Tendō knows scenes like these. He often watch dramas like these. The main character cheated on the other lead, and he or she will go to their friend to ask for help. "What... You cheated on Shirabu, didn't you? You stupid guy!"

"What? No! I just want to say something, dumbass."

"Oh, is that so? Then okay. Tell it, I'm listening."

"I saw a garden here. I think that's the restaurant's."

"Why not here? Don't tell me... You got someone pregnant?"

"Idiot! I didn't! Let's just go!"

They saw a bench on the garden in front of a big tree as soon as they arrive and they sat there. For a few minutes, they just sat there, enveloped in silence, until Semi broke it.

"I have a question."

Tendō looked at the man. "What is it?"

"Do you still like him?" Him? Oh, he meant him, Ushijima Wakatoshi. He got no answer from Satori and asked again. Semi leaned his back on the bench and closed his eyes. "Why did you like him? I know you're going to answer, "no reasons, just because he is who he is," right?" That made the red-head laugh. "I have something to tell you."

For some reason, Satori can feel ears listening around them. "What is it?"

Then, he started talking, still eyes closed. "This should have remained a secret, but when I've heard about you studying in France, I felt threatened and scared." Semi heaved a sigh. "It has been, what, five years? Four years? I don't know when it started. You... you were always the center of attention, together with Wakatoshi. The first time I saw you was during the tryouts for volleyball. I found you annoying back then, but as time pass by... I... I don't know."

Satori is now having a hunch. His heart is beating fast, not because he likes what his hunch is, but because of the nervousness he's feeling. Semi Eita and Shirabu Kenjirō are both his friends, and are important to him. "Let's go back inside. I don't want to hear it." He was about to stand up, but he was stopped by the man he is talking to and looked straight into Satori's eyes. He felt uncomfortable and avoided his gaze, now looking at the entrance of the restaurant.

"I like you, Tendō Satori. I know, I know. You're going to hate me, and ask, "What about Shirabu, then?" But, I really tried. I tried to like him. I wanted to like him, though it didn't work. I really, really like you. I feel sorry and guilty about pestering him and diverting my attention to him just to forget you. Don't worry, after this, I'll apologize to him. Now that you know about my feelings, please give—"

Semi's words were cut off by Tendō when he noticed a man walk past them, coming from back of the tree. The man has copper-colored hair and an average build. "Shirabu?" The man stopped on his tracks, bowed to them, and went inside the restaurant again, which made Semi's face turn pale due to shock.

 _"The fuck's happening? What the hell is up with this fucked up situation?"_ Satori was stressed by the sudden happening. He's sure that Shirabu heard all of it, knowing him, he won't get out of there, but maybe all of the words that came from the man he likes are hurting him.

"Semi, apologize to Shirabu now. I don't want him to get the wrong idea." His words has no effects, the former just sat there, stunned, and Satori marched his way inside, only to find out that Shirabu hurriedly left, saying his brother has an emergency. 

Shirabu has no siblings, and little did they know, another one was eavesdropping to their conversation, feeling threatened and scared.

* * *

After Shirabu went home, Semi followed after a few minutes. Tension between Tendō and Semi were evident, that made Usijima worry about the redhead. The others tried to brighten up the mood and it worked. After another hour, the Shiratorizawa Academy's Men's Volleyball Club get ready to go home.

On their way home, Hayato, Tendō, and Ushijima (who's taking Tendō home), were almost quiet if it is not for their former libero, who is constantly talking and bringing up interesting topics. But the moment didn't last, for Hayato received a text message from Ōhira and had to drop off the next station. The ride to the station where they'll be dropping off is still seven minutes away, and the first few minutes were awfully silent, Tendō can not take it, until Ushijima spoke.

"So... You're going to study in Paris, huh?"

Tendō sighed. "Yes. Anyway, I heard you've been scouted by Schweiden Adlers. Congratulations, Wakatoshi-kun."

"Yeah. Thanks."

"Don't forget what we've talked about after our match with Karasuno."

"Yeah. You're my best bud."

"Yeah... I am your best bud."

Best friends. That's all they'll be, and Satori can settle with that. He can not ask for more. The relationship they have will crumble, and he can not handle that. He can not ask for less, or their gaps between each other will grow further. Distance, that is the only thing he can give to himself. A far distance that has time differences, schedules not crossing each other. That is what he need. He can keep being friends with him while keeping distance away from him. That distance will make him lose his feelings for his best friend.

His thoughts were cut off when his friend asked him, "When are you planning to leave?" 

"Two months before the school year starts."

"When? And why is it so early? Can you speak and understand French?"

"I won't tell when, I know you'll make time to see me off if I told you. I can't understand and speak French, that's why I'll be going there two months prior. I can speak in English though, I am pretty confident about it."

"What? Why don't you want me to see you off?"

 _"I might stay here if you see me off,"_ is what he wanted to say but is different from what he said to him. "You're busy, I don't want to disturb you."

"You won't."

They were filled with silence after this until Ushijima spoke again. "I heard what Semi said."

 _"What Semi said? Don't tell me he..."_ Satori was panicking inside even though his expressions doesn't show. "Heard what?"

"He told you that he likes you, and Shirabu also heard you." Ushijima looked uncomfortable. Of course, who wouldn't be? Everyone from their team, except the new first years, know that there is a romantic relationship building between Semi and Shirabu, and now Semi just confessed to Tendō.

"Are you uncomfortable? Sorry. It was really unexpected. I didn't knew."

"Why are you saying sorry to me? Shouldn't it be me who is apologizing right now? I eavesdropped. And besides, I know you don't want his confession and you don't want to hurt Shirabu. I know you too well, and I trust you."

Tendō stared at Ushijima and was about to answer when it was announced that they'll be arriving shortly on the next station where the two of them will be dropping off, and when they get off, Satori told Wakatoshi that he's going somewhere first and that the latter can go home first. His good eyesight caught something that would definitely look good on Ushijima, and he would like to give it as a parting gift.

Ushijima doesn't want to leave, but he received a text message from his mother telling him to go home because he won't have a lot of time before their training in Schweiden Adlers start. And so, he left Satori feeling apologetic.

As soon as Ushijima left, Tendō went to the shop where the hoodie that caught his attention is displayed, bought it and went to another shop where he buys perfume.

* * *

_After two months_

"Satori, are you sure you'll be fine there alone?" Tendō Rika, Satori's mother, asked, full of worry.

"I will!"

Today is Satori's flight to Paris, France and his parents insisted to see him off in Haneda Airport, where his flight's plane will land. It is already June and their classes will start on September. He decided to go there even though the school year still won't start in three months to learn the language faster, he believes that learning it while also using it will be a good way.

Tendō Satoshi, Satori's father, held his wife close to him to support her. Satori is their only child and even though he is already nineteen years old, they still think of him as their baby. "You'll be alone there, you know. We can apply for a job there and stay there with you."

"What? Why would you be applying for a job there? You have a stable job here." Satori sighed. "I'll be fine, I already told you a lot of times. And I'm already nineteen years old! I'm old enough to take care of myself. You should worry about the both of you more. You're aging." His parents were about to say something when he dismissed them. "I have to go now. Don't be sad! I'll text you as often as I can." He gave the paper bag he is holding to his mother. "Please give this to Wakatoshi-kun. He's also here in Tokyo. I'll go now. See you, Otō-san, Okaa-san!" He waved at them, and turn his back.

_"Once I arrive there, I'm gonna give myself a pat in the back. Good job on making distance, Satori."_

* * *

_Ushijima Wakatoshi-kun,_

_Hello, Wakatoshi-kun! By the time you receive the gifts I prepared and this short letter, I'm probably on my way to France. I bought the hoodie because I thought you'll look good in it, so you better wear it, okay! I also put a bottle of the perfume I use. You can wear it if you ever miss me. Just kidding!_

_I hope you stay healthy. I am your best bud, and always will. I'll support you (not physically though) in reaching your dreams._

  
_PS. Good luck on your love life! When you get married, inform me and let me be the best man, yeah? After all, I'm your best bud! :)_

_Tendō Satori._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who waited for the update (though I don't know if someone's reading this), I'm very sorry if it took me a very long time. I was sick and after I got better, I was distracted by a lot of ideas that I thought of, and forgot to write for this au. Hope you understand!


End file.
